Sunday, April 19, 2009

Adventures in Cooking

Last Thursday I had to work late, and after work I went to the gym. I finally got home around 8pm. I was tired, slightly miserable from the long work day, and STARVING!!!

I wanted something quick and easy -- so once the oven had warmed up, I popped in a DiGiorno frozen pizza. The pizza had to cook for 25 minutes, so I proceeded to turn on the TV and lay down on the couch.

Fifteen minutes into the cooking process, I heard a BANG come from the kitchen! I jumped off the couch and ran to investigate. I figured the damn cat must have knocked a glass off the counter or something, but not so. I couldn't find anything wrong so I went back to the couch.

Ten minutes later...finally the pizza was done (did I mention I was starving?). I grabbed some oven mitts to extract the Pampered Chef pizza stone, that the delicious pizza was sitting on, from the hot oven. I opened the oven and quickly realized the BANG was a result of my pizza stone shattering!! What the heck?!?!
OH NO -- How do I get my precious pizza out now?? I have an idea...I grabbed two spatulas and carefully/laboriously pulled the pizza out without singeing off the hair on my knuckles.

I cut the pizza into edible pieces (I'll deal with the stone later, I'm starving) and encountered yet another problem. There are NO clean cups in the whole house!! (Yes I have a dishwasher, but there was still an enormous pile of dirty dishes on the counter) I have yet another idea....I raided the cupboards until I found my measuring cup! I poured myself exactly 2 cups worth of milk and sat down to my feast.
I took one bite of the pizza, and it was soggy and lukewarm--- I didn't cook all the way through!!At this point, I didn't even care. I ate it anyways...........



.......A couple days later, I called my local Pamper Chef representative (Jenna) to complain:
DAN My pizza stone shattered the other day while cooking a frozen pizza!! Why would it do that!??!
JENNA Your not supposed to cook frozen pizzas on it dummy. I told you that when I gave it to you.
DAN Oh...
DAN Can you order me a new one please?

4 comments:

Charlie said...

How many science classes did you take, brainiac?? Common sense, extreme heat + extreme cold = bang!!

DAN said...

Even better --- I do heat transfer and thermodynamics for a living!

Anonymous said...

you should have asked me, I cook pizza at least once a week!!

Bob Welch said...

I broke a glass baking pan that way by taking it out of the oven and placing it on the cold marble. Ooops.